Ebb & Flow

My daughter and I spent two days this week at Avila Beach with friends. I love the beach...the warm sand, the cool, crisp water, the sound of children playing, the salty air, the sound of waves gently cascading into the shore, the feeling of relaxation and serenity. Add a good friend and thoughtful conversation and you've got one of the best ways to spend an afternoon. And just as the ocean water ebbs and flows into the shoreline, our lives have an ebb and flow to them as well. Some days our lives mimic the serenity of a summer day where the coolness of the water refreshes us from the heat of the sun. Others feel like the frigid touch of the ocean in the middle of winter or the wet mist from a foggy, coastal morning. And yet other moments in our lives can certainly be a medley of each of these. I love the beach in all seasons, but what I bring and what I wear is different depending upon the climate and will insure whether I enjoy the day or not. This is the same for my life: my preparations depend upon what I am facing at the moment. And if I prepare carefully then I can handle whatever ebb and flow comes my way. For me, knowing that God walks with me each day gives me the security to face whatever challenge I am confronted with and truly embrace the blessings. I can walk confidently into a storm just as a wet suit clad surfer swims boldly into the winter waters of the Pacific. And when my days are filled with sweet, happy moments, I can soak in the joy as a sunbather soaks in the warm rays of the sun. Ebb and flow? Keep it coming...simply speaking.

Failing to Begin...Again

I'm sure that my struggle is not unlike many others: Need to make a change, think through what needs to be done, look at the potential challenges, pray, take some action, experience a little success...make an exception, make an excuse, feel disappointed, give up...sound familiar to anyone else? This has been my M.O. for many years. And because of that, I have failed to begin over and over and over again. I feel defeated even before I begin. It doesn't really matter what it is either: a new weight loss plan, a new teaching strategy, a new habit, a new way of doing something. For some reason (that I'm trying to understand), I start well, but finish poorly. So, I live in a perpetual state of feeling STUCK. Now I know that the Bible teaches that God's mercies are new every morning and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Those two promises should be enough to spur me on, but unfortunately, something always gets in the way...ME. I am coming to a realization that my struggle must be spiritual and not physical in nature; this tug-of-war between who is in control and who I am trusting in. Self-reliance is a quality that is honored in our society, but in God's plan, we are to surrender to Him and allow Him to work through us. It's not giving up to yourself; it's givng up to God and allowing Him to give you what you need to change. Maybe I keep failing in my efforts to change because I am relying too much on myself. I will fail because I am human and fallible; God never fails because He is perfect and doesn't make mistakes. So, maybe it's not the plan, the goal, or the desire that needs altering. Maybe it's simply who I am leaning on to accomplish my plan, goal, or desire. I don't have a good track record, but God does. I act with selfish motives, but God doesn't. I think I am strong enough, but God is always strong. With God, we will not fail and we can begin again as His Word promises, no matter how many times we've failed. This I am understanding more clearly and am so thankful for...simply speaking.

The Creator, Not the Creation

Apparently we are expected to celebrate "Mother Earth" and set aside today as Earth Day, but I just can't jump on that bandwagon. Don't get me wrong; I am ever so thankful for the planet that I live on and very much enjoy the beauty it has to offer. I am mindful of the waste and the devastating effects of pollution, toxic chemicals seeping into our dirt and water supply, and "global warming". My issue is not with the efforts that many are making to encourage us to reduce, reuse, and recycle. My daughter and I do our part to recycle our plastic and aluminum containers on a regular basis. I do think that recycling is having a profound impact upon the environment. What I do have a problem with is the worshipful attitude toward the creation, but not with its Creator. The words "Mother Earth" will never be uttered from my lips. To me, this term of affection and respect equals that of referring to God as "my Heavenly Father." I have wondered all day how different life would be if all the well-meaning environmentalists would shift their allegience to the God who created and sustains the creation that they hold in such reverence. The Bible warns us of worshipping idols in 1 Samuel 12:21..."Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless." Can the Earth save us? Can it rescue us when we have fallen or hit rock bottom? Can "Mother Earth" bring comfort to our souls when the death of a dear one devastates us beyond words? Can a lifetime commitment to going "green" offer us eternal salvation when this Earth-bound life is over? The clear answer is no, right? But the Creator God can do all that and more. Shouldn't He be the One who is worthy of our efforts and praise? Rather than saving the planet, Christians should be more concerned with sharing the Good News of Christ so those who are without a hope for eternity can be saved. I do think that God wants us to treat His creation with respect, but the creation should not be our focus. So, I propose a new day, a day that gives honor to the One who made it all...Creator Day! Now that's a cause worth my attention...simply speaking.

Thinking vs. Doing

Last night I realized, again, that I tend to be more of a "thinker" than a "doer". Maybe my insecurities keep me from taking risks...maybe I'm just afraid to fail...maybe I'd rather just blend in with the crowd, so no one really notices me or maybe I hesitate because I assume someone else will step in and "do" what I was "thinking" of doing. Whatever the reason, I was shown last night through a simple act of "good neighbor" service that one person's actions can truly make a difference for the betterment of others. Here's the story: Recently our neighborhood has been hit by a lot of tagging and graffiti, especially on the community mailboxes. Each time I get my mail, I think about calling the post office or the city to find out if someone could come out to clean it up. But as soon as I drive into my garage, I forget about it and go about "my" business. I have been frustrated to see this kind of vandalism in our "neck of the woods", but I had yet to do anything about it except for "think" about what I should "do". But then last night about 8:15, I saw a man painting over the graffiti on our mailboxes. His name is Gil and he and his family live one block north of me. He told me that he had called the city to inquire about getting the graffiti cleaned up and was told about the adopt-a-mailbox program. So, rather than just "thinking" that would be a good idea, my neighbor, Gil, agreed to "do" it. There's no out-of-pocket expense for Gil as the city provides the paint and materials he needs to cover the graffiti. All that was needed was a willingness to step in and "do" something about it. I "think" about "doing" lots of different things, but am less willing to "do" them. Gil is obviously a "doer" and his actions will positively enhance our neighborhood. I am a "thinker" and unless I act upon those thoughts, they only benefit me. The Bible speaks to this also in Titus 3:8: "This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone." I woke up this morning "thinking" I want to be more like Gil, the "doer". And ultimately, more like Jesus who was and is the greatest example of a "doer". I look forward to my trip to the mailbox today knowing that picking up the contents will not be the only thing I will think about...simply speaking.

I Remember When...

I remember a time when teaching wasn't ALL about state testing. Yes, to all the newest educators, there once was a time when testing wasn't the ultimate determination for whether or not an individual teacher or school was good enough. As I have talked with former students over the years, I have never once heard any of them say that they most fondly remember all the lessons that were focused on standards relating to state testing. What have they recalled instead? Well...the creative writing lessons that I no longer have time for; the conversations that we shared when they needed a safe person to talk with, which is sometimes frowned upon because we don't want to get "too close" to our students; the field trips and extra curricular activities that taught them that learning doesn't always have to happen between four walls, which budget cuts have virtually eliminated; and the little extras I would offer like guest speakers, which I unfortunately can't tie to an emphasized standard. Several of my former students usually mention the word "fun" when they think back to their time in my class. I am tickled by that and feel pleased that they enjoyed my class. But to be honest, I'm doubtful that many of my students in the past several years would use that same word today. Now don't get me wrong, I try as often as I can to use humor in my teaching, but the constant pressure to perform and improve test scores, doesn't leave much time for laughter. I feel things deeply and take the responsibilites of my job seriously. Maybe I should lighten up? Maybe I should return to the things I did that students have fondly remembered? I wish I had that choice, but deep down, I don't believe I do as long as "the test" is the final measure. I will continue to work hard each day, to give my best to the kids who walk through my classroom door, to work cooperatively and creatively with my colleagues, and to try not to become so discouraged that I want to jump ship before my retirement years hit. I still like being an educator, and I believe I work with some of the finest people around. However, I remember when I used to LOVE being a teacher. I'm hoping someday that I can say that again...simply speaking.

An Old Comfy Sweatshirt

Something that brings back good memories, something that you want to cuddle up with, something that you just can't toss aside for a new one...that old sweatshirt and those old friends. Today I spent a few hours with an old friend talking and just enjoying the familiarity. I also spoke to another old friend on the phone. Even though our conversation was brief, it was good to hear her voice and share a laugh. With both, I walked away feeling thankful for the years that we've shared. I was also grateful that with both friends, there is not a need for pretense or walls...we already know each other and have accepted who we are, so the need to pretend or hold back isn't an issue. New relationships are exciting and even needed from time to time, but there is nothing like an old friend to make you feel at home. So, look through your closet, find your favorite old sweatshirt, put it on, and then call an old friend. You'll feel comfy inside and out...simply speaking.

Here I Go...

So...I thought I'd try my hand at blogging. I enjoy writing and reflecting, but haven't had the time with working full-time and raising my daughter. However, I need to do something just for me, so this seems like a good fit. Do I have an agenda or purpose for the blog? Well, not exactly. At this point, if I feel like posting I will; if I don't, I won't. Will I journal on a daily basis...probably not, but some weeks might afford more opportunities than others. My topics could range from an anecdote from home, an experience at school, a lesson God is teaching me, or just my reactions or questions to what is happening around me and in the world. For those of you who take a peek, I hope I can gvie you something to think about or giggle about or question. Again, my intention is not to change the world, but to share a little of my world with anyone who might venture a look inside. And hopefully I will share it all....simply speaking.